FOREVER
I am trying to come to terms with the passage of time. The untouched spaces of my childhood are physical proof of the truth of my memories. The moment is approaching when these spaces will begin to change, the memories of people maintained through objects will fade, and what shaped me will disappear. I relive my favorite memories, enter untouched spaces, take out old objects, and photograph them. For the future, I document seemingly ordinary moments of a family day, and reflecting on impermanence, I tell the story of my family and my homeland, freezing the past and present that I don’t want to forget. I present people, spaces, and objects as I want to remember them, not as they will become.
forever, 2022.
After several years of studying in Zagreb and rarely going home, I realized that I missed home more and more—my family and my hometown. During my upbringing, my sense of home was intertwined across three areas: Gorski Kotar, where my parents and grandparents are from; Grobnik, where I grew up and lived until I moved to Zagreb for my studies; and Rijeka, where I spent most of my formative years during high school and going out. All three areas shaped me and became part of my identity, and physically returning home reminded me of this. During the 2020 lockdown, I returned to Grobnik and spent the next few months there and in Gorski Kotar. Going back home reconnected me with local people, family, and friends, and emotionally tied me to where I come from. That was when I began to become aware of my sense of belonging, identity, and the impact that the places, spaces, and people around me during my upbringing had on who I am today.
Since 2021, I started photographing Gorski Kotar and my family, trying to capture and freeze moments, places, and people that are likely to change, disappear, and cease to be as I remember them. Through photography, I realized that the small places in Gorski Kotar, where my family comes from, are quickly vanishing, and the memories I have from childhood are fading more and more, leaving no one after me to experience them. A great fear of forgetting emerged in me, which I tried to conceal and heal by photographing everything that evokes memories and a sense of home. This was a very important therapeutic process for me—learning to face the fear of distancing, change, forgetting, and death in the context of the transformation of things as I know them.
Exhibition in Gallery Spot, Office for Photography Zagreb (Croatia) 2024.
Exhibition photography: Ivan Buvinić